I am my Father’s Dream

Father, the most important person in any girl’s life and so is he to me. My father, the only man in a family of 5 with 3 crazy daughters. He has had a tough time bringing me up. I was born in an orthodox Rajput family where boys were preferred over girls. My father never ever let that stigma get to his daughters. He moved to a city against his father will so that he can give his daughters good education, good life and a good upbringing.

He had a very humble beginning and worked really hard to give a bright future to us. When people were sending their daughters to girls only school, He chose co-ed schools for us to give a different perspective to life. He wanted us to feel equal to the boys. He always says that being a girl doesn’t make you incapable of doing things rather makes you capable of doing things which boys can never do. He would persuade me to stand in the same queue as boys. He wanted me to understand that when you say you are equal, you should act like it and never ask for any privilege for being girls. He encouraged us to help mother in her household like getting groceries, washing utensils etc. at very young age. When I was 10, he would send me to banks to help him in his banking related activities like making deposits, cheque encashment etc. I never resisted because I liked doing new things. That gave me confidence. May be, because of that I love trying new things every day. When I entered teenage, I started having identity of my own. I started doing what I wanted to do. By then, trying new things became bunking school and tuitions, partying from my tuition fees, making new friends etc. which is against his values. He would always want us to focus on study and not have so many friends. He would simply not like my friends coming to my home but I ignored that. I liked all of them and somewhere even they have contributed in making me “ME”. And I remember all the days when I have bunked classes and spent time with my friends as wonderful memories of my life.

I was a rebellious child. I would not listen to him until he justifies with a logic. I would question him whenever he objected me to do anything. I would argue that my point of view was better than his. We started having opinion differences. It started from clothing, consistent on my friends, moved on to my choice of education etc. He wanted me to pursue a line of education where life should be peaceful. I should go to work in the morning and return by late afternoon and take care of my house. Now I understand it was a father’s concern but I never wanted that kind of life. I wanted to do my MBAs and when I expressed that to him. He stood by me. And when he did so, nothing could deter him. All his peer advised him that why are you educating your daughters? Are they ever going to give you back? Build your house. He replied, “If I make a house instead of educating them, it will be just one. But, if I educate them. They will make three other houses”. Now, he has made everything on his own and I am proud to say that my father is a self-made man.

He is the man who motivated me when I took a different route and opted for higher education while other girls were getting married, He sent me out of the home to pursue higher education while many people questioned his decision. He even stood strong when I decide to marry the love of my life when all his family members threatened that they will not attend the wedding ceremony. He said, it’s about my daughter’s life and she will decide for herself not You”.

Now when I look back, I see that all my life I have done right opposite to whatever he suggested me. I never listened to him and yes, have hurt him many times. All this while, I thought I am being myself. I am doing what I always wanted to do. I am achieving my dreams. I am living an independent life. But, then I was struck by a very pleasant thought. My father always wanted his daughters to be independent, contributing equally to their house, live their life on their own terms and realize all their dreams. Now, I realize whatever I am today, it’s not me! It’s my father’s dream. I am my father’s dream. For me, I am yet to be!!

3 comments

  1. Amit Sharma · November 28, 2015

    Nice thoughts and prespective:)

    Like

  2. sachinsawhney · November 28, 2015

    Suman, Excellent words, Your father is also lucky to have a daughter like you….I love your last line ..

    ” I realize whatever I am today, it’s not me! It’s my father’s dream. I am my father’s dream. For me, I am yet to be!!”

    …..Keep it , you are yet to go places….you have the blessings of two most important people in your life….All the best and keep writing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. SIVAKUMAR · November 28, 2015

    Suman, Your words are great as always. Appreciate the thoughtful perspective of “Doing just opposite (i.e independent) to his suggestions to attain his own dream”. Keep writing and posting please.

    Like

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