Motherhood- Does it epitomize a woman?

Sunita, was a beautiful and lovely girl. She was full of life, serene like morning breeze, and painted everyone’s life with her creativity and love. A very caring daughter, a loving sister, a great friend and a very good student. While I was ambitious with my goals, she was very simple and wanted to be a teacher to enlighten people’s life with the gift of education. She started growing with her dream taking small steps towards it.

While she was excited about exploring the world and bringing about a change, her parents were disturbed. The reason was that, she was not getting her menstrual cycles. But, the concern grew deeper when her sister, who was 3 years younger to her starting getting them. Parents consulted a gynecologist to address the issue. After check-ups the doctor said, she is absolutely fine but she can never give birth to a child. The parents were shattered as if it was the end of their daughters’ world. This news disturbed Sunita as well but, she said “what if I can’t give birth, I can still be a mother” This is not the end of my world.
After graduation I took a short vacation and on return, I went to see her. I was shocked to know that she got married. I was startled that we were even not informed of this. I felt very bad but, then her younger sister came up with Sunita’s wedding album. I saw her pictures, all I could see was a girl who was innocent and pure. The beauty of her heart was reflected through her eyes in every single picture.
After a year, Sunita came to meet me at home. I was extremely delighted to see her. She was as lively and fun loving as she was in her teens. She was taking care of the house and also pursing her education. She got her two kids along. She was happy to have them in life and the kids made her complete now. I was happy to know that she was happy with her family.

Three years later, it was a winter morning and I was just about to step out for my college.
Phone rang and it was my sister on the other side. The news she gave me was the worst of my life and beyond my imagination. Sunita was no more, she committed suicide. I was heartbroken!! A girl who had beautiful dreams and was full of love in life, a girl who could have been much more to the world was no more.
This news disturbed me and I wanted to inquire what went wrong with her?? After returning home, I asked my mother about this incident. She said that because she could not conceive, the parents decided to get her married to someone who was already married and had kids. Nobody will marry her if they get to know that she can’t give birth to a baby; a stupid justification was given to my mother by her parents.
The man she was married to, was her relative and he lost his first wife to a heart attack. He had two small kids and he wanted someone to take care of them. Sunita’s parents got to know about him and they took it as an opportunity to get her married. She must have agreed to this decision to keep her parents happy and save them from the allegations of the so called society.

Further, I got to know that the boy accepted her as his mother but the girl was young enough to understand that Sunita was her step mother and she had lost her mother. She was not happy with this decision and misbehaved with her frequently. At first, Sunita ignored it thinking that she was a child but gradually the matter grew serious. When Sunita tried to explain it to her husband, he accused her by saying that since, she can’t be a mother she is not able to take proper care of his children. The words started hitting her mind, her soul, her self-confidence to an extent that she finished herself. A beautiful heart went to ashes!!
I want to know who her real culprit is. Her parents who forced her into this marriage because she could not give birth to someone? The so called society who will call her sterile her entire life?? The husband who could not understand his child or the child who could not accept her as a mother??

Is a woman only about motherhood?? Can she only survive in this society if she can give birth to someone?? Can she only be respected and loved by her own kids?? What about Mother Teresa who transformed life of many people and the world calls her “Mother” What about Sushmita Sen who has given a wonderful life and a great upbringing to two beautiful girls. What about those thousand women who have adopted children and brought about a change in this world. To be a mother, you don’t have to give birth to someone. A mother is all about love, care and sacrifices and none of this is biological.


Blues of a Quaint lady

The year was 2006 and I and my friends decided to celebrate Christmas at Kolkata. We all were students and hence, no money to put up in a hotel. So, we all hooked ourselves to our relatives for a place to stay. I could somehow find myself a distant friend and reached with my baggage. Though, it was not a great welcome but it didn’t matter as far as I was getting a place to stay for free!
Vacations are always best planned if you don’t have so much to spend. So, we all made our itinerary for every day so that we don’t waste time and decided on a common place to meet. It was the first day and the meeting place was Kalighat. Though we are not so religious but the entire gang was starting a new phase in life and taking rounds of GD and PIs after our management entrance exams and hence, they wanted to take the blessing of Maa kali.
I reached early because of staying in the vicinity of the place but none of my friends were there. Reaching on time would always be for an interview. I started rallying across the street putting my earphones on to pass on the time as waiting is the most irritating activity and a complete waste of time. Suddenly, I saw a lady who was fair and beautiful standing in the sun. Her curly hair was flowing in the air like a soft breeze and drops of sweat were all over her face. But, that looked like as she has come out of a shower. She had draped a sparkling blue sari and done loads of make-up; still it made her look very graceful. She was beautiful enough to grab everyone’s attention on the street. I saw her stopping every passerby but no body responded to her. I did not concentrate much as it was none of my business and dig myself into my earphones that were playing my favorite songs. After sometime again my eyes rolled over to check if she was there. To my surprise, she was still there and doing the same thing. I got annoyed by the thought that a woman is asking for help or maybe she asking for some address she is looking for and nobody is willing to help her. That was strange. So, finally I decided to help her myself.
I walked towards her and asked if she wanted any help. She replied hesitatingly in Bangla” Tumi aidegi theke chole jao” which means you go away from here. I got annoyed. I was trying to help her and she was throwing her tantrums. Then I asked her what was wrong with her. I was just trying to help her. Understanding the rage in my voice, she told you don’t know anything and I should leave. Then, one of my friends called for me. I saw him coming and he pulled me away to another corner. I got furious and asked him the reason to do so. Then he outrageously asked me why was I talking to her? I said what was wrong in talking to a woman. To which he replied “there’s nothing wrong unless she is a prostitute”
I was taken aback for a moment though it was not the first time I have ever spoken to one. I remember my days when I was a child and they were called for the weddings in my village to perform and entertain people. They were called “Bai ji” and for me they were merely dancers until I grew big enough to understand the other meaning of entertainment in people’s life.
But, after knowing this I truly wanted to help her. I went up to her and asked how much did she need? It was a difficult day for her as she was unable to find a customer for herself. Disheartened by her condition and the scorching heat she replied Rs. 50. I asked her if that was enough for her to lead her life. She said that it was enough for her lead a day. More than herself, she was bothered about her baby who had to be fed. With that money, she could buy milk and enough food for herself to feed the baby. She said every day was a new day for her; some days are good and some are bad but she gets people who help her somehow. By that time, my entire gang was there. They heard us and moved by her zeal to fight the situation and live her life. We all took out Rs. 50 and gave it to her. Agreed, we did not have so much but we had as much to help her; even if it was for a day. I was there to see a form of woman, a Goddess while I met another form and this experience has made me respect every form of a woman in my life.